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- 4 decades ago

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I'm glad this show was taken off the air so many years ago. However, people in my house can't get enough of it. To me, this garbage doesn't make any sense.

First off, No one (and I mean, NO ONE) walks up to a vampire and punches it in the face! Dracula was never punched in the face by a human. NEVER! Vampires that are punched in the face don't react because humans aren't physically strong enough to hurt them... So here comes Buffy.

"Take that, you evil Vampire, you!" *PUNCH!*

"GOOAARRGGHHH!" *Vampire flies to the ground*

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! You don't fight vampires (or demons for that matter) bare handed!! Blade, Vampire Hunter D and Alucard from Hellsing understood this! Heck, Alucard from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, didn't fight his father bare handed unless his hands were anointed and blessed by GOD HIMSELF!

What I didn't understand was the fact that Buffy fights slow as molasses and can still kill the the demons and vampires. That doesn't make any sense at all. Even if Buffy somehow had super human strength (which would make more sense), the fact that she's super slow should completely negate such power. Any normal vampire would toss a car at this slut and end it just like that. Yet, for some odd reason, NONE OF THE VAMPIRES CAN DO THAT!!. All they can do is change their faces so they look super ugly and... Well, that's it! Oh, and they're super strong... I guess... Yet, somehow a valley girl can KILL THEM!

Let me put it into perspective. Think of a super powerful samurai with demonic powers (kinda like Samurai Deeper Kyo). He walks up to a regular blonde valley girl who fights as if she's been watching Tai-Bo for 6 months and suddenly gets killed by a weak punch and a slow stab at his heart with a random stake. Sounds retarded? Probably because it is!

Let's talk about horror movies. My cousin is a horror movie fanatic. Loves them to death. I can't see why. All horror movies have the same plot, just told in a different way. Ok, you've got the group of weak pathetic humans and one or several overly powerful monsters, spirits, demons or serial murderers. People run, scream and die. Sometimes the killer is killed, caught, vanquished. And sometimes they're not. The END!

99% of them are like that. They just introduce new ways to kill people. 

Saw, is more of a torture flick than a horror. After 3, Saw started going down hill. Saw 3 really emphasized the torture machines. After that, Saw just became the "Torture Machine" movie. You could tell they ran out of ideas. 

Now, Jeepers Creepers.... I dunno what to say about that one. The monster was literately INVINCIBLE!! Those humans were screwed before the title screen even showed! How the heck can you stop a monster that can fly, can think, can take out an entire police station, punch through walls and use your guts as ways to "repair" its body? How do you stop a monster that's super strong and is impervious to pain?! Bullets can't phase it! You can disable it if you rip off some of its parts, but that's not easy! And even after you tear it to shreds, it still LIVES!! Here's the answer... You can't!

Ok, last one... I wanna talk about Rosario + Vampire. The first season seemed to do the manga some justice (somewhat). At least there was a healthy dose of fighting. However, in Capu2, it went "Super Fan Service". More panty shots than you can shake a stick at! The plot was stupid and it had very little to do with the manga. It even sported less fighting. That wasn't cool at all! If you read the manga, there's plenty of fighting! Not only that, but Tsukune has insane skills (after he was changed). 

Basically, it goes like this. If any of you remember the anime, I'll start from there. The last episode after Moka changed Tsukune and he saved her from the final blast from that dude (don't remember the name). Everything happens much like the anime except, they are inside a building. The girls fight him and nearly all die. Moka fights him and gets the tar beaten out of her. Suddenly, Tsukune saves Moka by punching the CRAP out of the dude. Everybody is blown away by Tsukune's power. Tsukune soon after finishes the dude off! WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THAT?! Why did the anime change it so drastically?! I will never know.

Posted on 01/31/2009 03:15 pm


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